The Art of being Anti-Social




In this crazy time in our world, I have come to realize something very important: I have absolutely no issues with social distancing ... and I am reeeaaaallly good at it- but that's because I've been anti social for years. You see- I don't need people. I like people, MOST people- but I don't need them.


Is that so terrible? No, I sure as hell don't think so, and it has served me well over the years, and is serving me even better in this pandemic state that we are all in. I'm OK being alone, not going out, or having someone, anyone, to talk to at all times a day. I've been a happy hermit for eons and have actually had more issues of late- of not being able to escape my husband or children, than I have being alone without social interaction.


Some of you might be thinking, "This doesn't seem like the Tommie I know, she is really friendly and outgoing. She's a performer for god sakes! How does she think she is anti social?" Well, you would all be right, I am friendly- I'm not an asshole anti-social, remember, I do like most people- and I do enjoy performing. But I really enjoy my own company too, and over my lifetime it has been to my benefit in many ways.


In relationships, I've never been clingy, (except that one time in High School, but hey, I learned what not to do very quickly.) or needy with any man. I need space, and if a guy needed too much of said space, I said goodbye and enjoyed my own company for awhile until I found someone else that was totally unattainable, which suited me perfectly.


In my friendships, I have chosen powerful women with a lot going on themselves, who are more "dude like" in their attitudes. What is that you ask? I dunno, but it's something that I've gravitated to my whole life, and my girls know who you are, so I know they aren't asking. We are there for each other, we enjoy each other, but we again don't need each other to get by every single moment- so our friendships have lasted decades, and will continue to last because we understand something totally unspoken.


It's called Space... No, not the six feet of space that everyone is talking about and no, not the space above your head. It's the space inside it. And I really like it in there, and so should you. To enjoy your own company, your own thoughts, and your own feelings- is everything right now. We have all been forced to re-think what our days will look like and how we will feel. How we will pay the bills and how we will raise our children. What really matters on a day to day basis, is changing as quick as some people swipe right, and that is totally terrifying for a lot of people- who need other people to be OK.


It's time to be OK- alone. To go inside your own mind and play with, yourself. Yep, that's just what I said- play with yourself. In what ever shape or form that makes you happy. And it doesn't matter how long you do it, although I do say an hour or three a day is better than ten minutes- (get your mind out of the gutter!) but take what you can get, if it's the latter. I promise, you will be a much happier human to be around, especially for everyone else that you have chosen to share your days with.


It's time to stop watching other people living falsely on social media- stop your scrolling, turn off the ringer and put down your phone. Go for a walk, outside alone if you can safely or within your own mind- see what adventures you can find, paint or journal. Paint a wall, bake a cake, get baked, or meditate- I don't care how you do it, just get to know yourself. Find out what you like, what turns you on, and what makes you tick. Stop looking out there for all your needs- because as this happy go lucky anti-social gal will tell you- this social distance is exactly the gift of space, that you really need, to find out who you really are.

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© 2020 by Tommie Vaughn... Live Life LOUD